Friday, October 14, 2011

A little angry, a little ... sad?

5:08 pm (Hawaii) Horrid decisions here. AAPL ran to 421+ by the close after I bailed out at 419.07, doubting my initial thought that it would be bought up strong before the bell. Meanwhile, I entered FAS at 12.40, saw it run above 12.50, then failed to protect my gain and sold at 12.20. From there, FAS dipped a little more, then ran to 12.47 at the close. It's not the issue of losing $250 combined in these two trades — not a ton of capital. It's just my pathetic timing and lack of execution. 

All in all, a horrible final hour of decisions here and I feel as duped and foolish as I have in a long, long time. It wasn't just the final hour, but the entire week. I'd be in the right place, get decent entry point opportunities, but execute poorly on the front end (entry) and/or back end (exit). This weekend is a real pivotal time for me to decide whether I'm getting back to to pulling the trigger and protect my gains in this choppy market, or just stop trying to quick trade entirely. I'm getting nicked to death. 

It was the best week in the indices in a long time, and I had a terrible week. It doesn't matter what you think. It matters what you do. And I did badly. Case in point: I noted that holding FAZ (or FAS) overnight doesn't necessarily pay off because often the gap up is smaller than the gain during the trading session. FAZ was 51.11 at the close on Wednesday, opened on Thursday (premarket) above 52 and hit an intraday high of 55.95. Yet I bought in late Thursday and caught a $1.50 or so loss in the morning. 

This week, I was a trading version of a choking football team, driving to the 1-yard line most of the night, only to fumble or throw a pick almost every time. 

If I can't compete with an index ETF like SPY (up almost 5% this week), there's no point to trading this way. Or at all. Yet, if I had protected myself, let winners ride, my gains since last week would've beaten any index by far, ie AAPL from 379 to 422 would've been an 11.3% gain and FAS from 11.09 to 12.47 would've been +12.4%. 

I suspect I'm not the only trader who got chopped up this week, uncertain of market direction. Thing is, who gives a shit whether I agree with the direction? Just need to recognize it and go with it, not get spooked out. It starts with protecting gains and entering at proper (low) points. I did this a few times, but not quite enough. Being a hater of the banksters is fine and good, but I allowed this hate to cloud my vision of reality — that the market was bullish nearly every day, that Europe is about to print fiat currency to oblivion, and thus boost the markets at a rate we may never have witnessed before. 

Maybe Yoda is right. 

Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger to hate.
Hate to suffering.
Not afraid I am. 

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